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Wait.

Don't go too early.

You're tired. But everyone's tired.

Yes, we’re all tired. Sometimes these days, it feels as though we’re tired all the time. I feel that way.

Yet everything changes, that double-edged truth of impermanence. So, I’ll keep waiting.

Thank you, as always. 🙏

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This is purely gorgeous. One of my favorites in the great pantheon of Poetic Outlaws

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The young have so much to look forward to :-)

81+, waiting on the Lord to take me,

I wake up each morning

wondering why I’m still here?

I lie in bed

thinking about my dreams,

what do they mean about today?

I might do some low back and pelvis stretches,

I might not.

I craw out of bed,

walk to the bathroom to pee,

again

How long’s it been

since I had a boner?

Before the prostate cancer radiation-

my urologist said the PSA count is terrific now,

he wanted his patients die from

what other doctors can’t fix-

I said I call people like you

motherfuckers-

he laughed,

I laughed,

we decided he didn’t have to

dilate my pee pee drain for a while longer,

excruciating pain,

so I could keep peeing.

the radiation created scar tissue,

narrowing the pee pee drain,

bladder cancer might get me first,

he mirthed,

I said I call people like you,

motherfuckers,

he laughed-

nothing about that when he and the X-ray doc

explained the risks of radiation v. surgery,

mother fuckers

they kept me alive -

my PSA was 22.

now it’s .02.

He prescribed generica Viagra

in case an opportunity came,

not yet,

don’t even know if the pill will work,

he said he wanted to receive my ravings,

said be careful what you ask for :-).

Radiation messed with my gut,

which had messed with me since it arrived,

in one day,

never the same again,

fuck me

Medicine impotent.

Psychiatry impotent.

Healers impotent.

Praying impotent.

Church impotent.

Meditation impotent.

Radionics helped for a few days,

then whatever was causing it

punished me something awful,

and I told the radionics guy

to turn off his machine.

Some far out folks prescribed

affirmations and postures,

Which helped

liked the radionics had helped,

until what was causing it

punished my gut something awful

and I stopped doing the affirmations and postures.

A naturopath prescribed germanium,

and that really helped until

a terrible pneumonia arrived.

I tried that twice, same result.

that’s how I figured out it was a God thing.

Fuck me.

It lifted on its own a couple of times,

briefly,

then it returned.

Yeah, it was a God thing.

Now I’m taking magnesium supplement

Recommended by a miracle healer psychical therapist,

as directed in a dream-

maybe God approved it,

I hope so,

because it’s helping some,

and the alternative is,

well,

feeling most of the time

that cancer is eating my gut alive.

My legs numb from the thighs down.

Nothing can be done,

the neurologist said.

My spine has been run over

and mangled a few times,

So don’t fall down and hope I

will help you up-

I’ll be flat on my back,

my spine shrieking.

Ailing pets kindly put down,

I’m expected to outlive

their veterinarians and my doctors,

no matter what the cost or pain,

fuck me.

Ah, but each day

something happens

that causes me to feel

I’m still still supposed to be here,

writing something,

saying something,

experiencing something,

of this world,

beyond this world,

which causes me to feel

kinda ok,

even as I wonder

why I’m still here?

Mother Fuckers

Headed now to see my internist,

a scientist,

6 month's check up,

I probably wont mention any of this

to him :-)

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I am tired too, being on the other side of ocean.

Existential fatigue keep us together, but there is something deeper that welcomes us alive, attentive and closer: Poetry...

It bathes the feet, massages the heart and has an effective action in combating waste from our arteries.

Namaste from Brazil. Thank you so much, as always.🙏

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"the need for the new love is faithfulness to the old." I love this!

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Thank you again for posting a well-chosen poem. Very pertinent in our "seize the day" culture. The day doesn't want to be seized, but enjoyed.

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..all rings true, but remembering that time waits for no-one, is worth keeping in mind I think....

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Just discovered this substack, really loving it. Thank you!

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“But trust the hours. Haven't they

carried you everywhere, up to now?”

I will hold on to this today.

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Powerful poem. I’ve tried to convince myself for years that “Impatience” can be a virtue. Mainly because I’m impatient. But patience teaches you more in the long run.

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Apr 3·edited Apr 3

How I love the work of Galway Kinnell, one of my very favorite poets. This study in impermanence is penned so (apparently) simply, and comes out so deeply profound.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/galway-kinnell

Bowing in gratitude to Poetic Outlaws.

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Absolutely Wow. Yes. I admired this poem for an hour and then read it out loud. Again Absolutely Wow. I’ve rarely come upon a time, a place, a thing that is worthy of the descriptor ‘sublime’. This arrangement of words has been waiting to be discovered by this old girl. Discovery at its joyful best.

Thanks to All.

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It is very moving, resounding with the soul and mind. The waiting, the knowing that all things are felt and will pass. Well, the words have a beauty all their own!

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Beautiful and very timely reminders… thank you.

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