maybe you're still here to keep life in perspective for the rest of us. My own pain becomes nothing in the light of your suffering and I become thankful again, hopeful again and kinda ok.
My best friend, a little over half my age, who does the tech work for my books at archive.org, a free internet library run by colleges in America, has several far more severe physical ailments than I , which medicine and very good doctors can only barely deal with, and the prognoses are awful. Some of it is genetics, some is diet and injuries. Some of it is injuries cause by hit men who left him for dead. I’m wondering how much more he can endure? If the way for him is to die young? I know from life experiences that angels can fix him somewhat, and I know that’s above my pay grade to know.
You are one of his earthly angels. He is lucky and blessed in that respect. Suffering is very sad and certain things remain a mystery. We learn to carry on. Thanks for your reply and intro to archive.org.
My friend had good paying jobs, which he lost because of his association with me, and I started paying him to do the tech work for my metaphysical books and for a podcast we do together, he is audio only, I can be seen. I’m wondering if the podcast will be winding down? Lately, its been getting about 300,000 complete watches per episode. We quit using YouTube and started launching into Torrent platforms where viewers are much more open to something different, with no advertising or soliciting. The Redneck Mystic Lawyer Podcast.
He also had a good business as a mechanic, he could take apart and fix just about anything with wheels. His injuries and medical ended that for him.
You might be asked if you are sure you want to open archive.org, which specializes in out of print books and authors who offer their books for free. People all over the word read books there. Thanks to my tech friend and AI programs, my metaphysical books at archive.org are read in 33 languages, at the rate of about 8-10 thousand complete reads per book per month. Far. more reads than sales of my 3 consumer protection books carried by the Prentice-Hall division of Simon & Schuster in the mid-1980s.
Thanks, I visited his website. He carries BFC-157, which I saw online last night is used for IBS and other disorders. His price is somewhat below other suppliers. I learned that physicians who prescribe peptides inject them in liquid forum into patients, and i doubt my internist and my gastroenterologist will be inclined to do that. The cost of his BFC-157 is not a factor for me, but I don’t know how much to take in capsules, or if it will help. I will sleep on this another night. Maybe I will get something in a dream.
Thank you, it’s all true, and much more, and blessings to you, also.
Out of nowhere, a doctor showed up who seems able to repair enough of my younger friend’s injuries, so that he can continue on this plane, after my friend had dreamed his soul was leaving and an angel well known to him named Melchizedek showed up and teased him and said he wasn’t getting off that easy, and then the doctor had a dream that convinced him he must do all he can to help my friend, and the doctor told the hospital what had happened, and they reduced the cost$ 90 %,, and the procedures are scheduled very soon. Meanwhile, my long time ailing gut has felt some better since I posted what you replied to, and no doctor of this world has anything to do with that :-)
Powerful poem. I’ve tried to convince myself for years that “Impatience” can be a virtue. Mainly because I’m impatient. But patience teaches you more in the long run.
How I love the work of Galway Kinnell, one of my very favorite poets. This study in impermanence is penned so (apparently) simply, and comes out so deeply profound.
Absolutely Wow. Yes. I admired this poem for an hour and then read it out loud. Again Absolutely Wow. I’ve rarely come upon a time, a place, a thing that is worthy of the descriptor ‘sublime’. This arrangement of words has been waiting to be discovered by this old girl. Discovery at its joyful best.
It is very moving, resounding with the soul and mind. The waiting, the knowing that all things are felt and will pass. Well, the words have a beauty all their own!
Wait.
Don't go too early.
You're tired. But everyone's tired.
Yes, we’re all tired. Sometimes these days, it feels as though we’re tired all the time. I feel that way.
Yet everything changes, that double-edged truth of impermanence. So, I’ll keep waiting.
Thank you, as always. 🙏
This is purely gorgeous. One of my favorites in the great pantheon of Poetic Outlaws
The young have so much to look forward to :-)
81+, waiting on the Lord to take me,
I wake up each morning
wondering why I’m still here?
I lie in bed
thinking about my dreams,
what do they mean about today?
I might do some low back and pelvis stretches,
I might not.
I craw out of bed,
walk to the bathroom to pee,
again
How long’s it been
since I had a boner?
Before the prostate cancer radiation-
my urologist said the PSA count is terrific now,
he wanted his patients die from
what other doctors can’t fix-
I said I call people like you
motherfuckers-
he laughed,
I laughed,
we decided he didn’t have to
dilate my pee pee drain for a while longer,
excruciating pain,
so I could keep peeing.
the radiation created scar tissue,
narrowing the pee pee drain,
bladder cancer might get me first,
he mirthed,
I said I call people like you,
motherfuckers,
he laughed-
nothing about that when he and the X-ray doc
explained the risks of radiation v. surgery,
mother fuckers
they kept me alive -
my PSA was 22.
now it’s .02.
He prescribed generica Viagra
in case an opportunity came,
not yet,
don’t even know if the pill will work,
he said he wanted to receive my ravings,
said be careful what you ask for :-).
Radiation messed with my gut,
which had messed with me since it arrived,
in one day,
never the same again,
fuck me
Medicine impotent.
Psychiatry impotent.
Healers impotent.
Praying impotent.
Church impotent.
Meditation impotent.
Radionics helped for a few days,
then whatever was causing it
punished me something awful,
and I told the radionics guy
to turn off his machine.
Some far out folks prescribed
affirmations and postures,
Which helped
liked the radionics had helped,
until what was causing it
punished my gut something awful
and I stopped doing the affirmations and postures.
A naturopath prescribed germanium,
and that really helped until
a terrible pneumonia arrived.
I tried that twice, same result.
that’s how I figured out it was a God thing.
Fuck me.
It lifted on its own a couple of times,
briefly,
then it returned.
Yeah, it was a God thing.
Now I’m taking magnesium supplement
Recommended by a miracle healer psychical therapist,
as directed in a dream-
maybe God approved it,
I hope so,
because it’s helping some,
and the alternative is,
well,
feeling most of the time
that cancer is eating my gut alive.
My legs numb from the thighs down.
Nothing can be done,
the neurologist said.
My spine has been run over
and mangled a few times,
So don’t fall down and hope I
will help you up-
I’ll be flat on my back,
my spine shrieking.
Ailing pets kindly put down,
I’m expected to outlive
their veterinarians and my doctors,
no matter what the cost or pain,
fuck me.
Ah, but each day
something happens
that causes me to feel
I’m still still supposed to be here,
writing something,
saying something,
experiencing something,
of this world,
beyond this world,
which causes me to feel
kinda ok,
even as I wonder
why I’m still here?
Mother Fuckers
Headed now to see my internist,
a scientist,
6 month's check up,
I probably wont mention any of this
to him :-)
maybe you're still here to keep life in perspective for the rest of us. My own pain becomes nothing in the light of your suffering and I become thankful again, hopeful again and kinda ok.
My best friend, a little over half my age, who does the tech work for my books at archive.org, a free internet library run by colleges in America, has several far more severe physical ailments than I , which medicine and very good doctors can only barely deal with, and the prognoses are awful. Some of it is genetics, some is diet and injuries. Some of it is injuries cause by hit men who left him for dead. I’m wondering how much more he can endure? If the way for him is to die young? I know from life experiences that angels can fix him somewhat, and I know that’s above my pay grade to know.
You are one of his earthly angels. He is lucky and blessed in that respect. Suffering is very sad and certain things remain a mystery. We learn to carry on. Thanks for your reply and intro to archive.org.
My friend had good paying jobs, which he lost because of his association with me, and I started paying him to do the tech work for my metaphysical books and for a podcast we do together, he is audio only, I can be seen. I’m wondering if the podcast will be winding down? Lately, its been getting about 300,000 complete watches per episode. We quit using YouTube and started launching into Torrent platforms where viewers are much more open to something different, with no advertising or soliciting. The Redneck Mystic Lawyer Podcast.
He also had a good business as a mechanic, he could take apart and fix just about anything with wheels. His injuries and medical ended that for him.
You might be asked if you are sure you want to open archive.org, which specializes in out of print books and authors who offer their books for free. People all over the word read books there. Thanks to my tech friend and AI programs, my metaphysical books at archive.org are read in 33 languages, at the rate of about 8-10 thousand complete reads per book per month. Far. more reads than sales of my 3 consumer protection books carried by the Prentice-Hall division of Simon & Schuster in the mid-1980s.
Peptides heard helps
which kind, how obtained, thanks
He seems to know his stuff https://jaycampbell.com/
Thanks, I visited his website. He carries BFC-157, which I saw online last night is used for IBS and other disorders. His price is somewhat below other suppliers. I learned that physicians who prescribe peptides inject them in liquid forum into patients, and i doubt my internist and my gastroenterologist will be inclined to do that. The cost of his BFC-157 is not a factor for me, but I don’t know how much to take in capsules, or if it will help. I will sleep on this another night. Maybe I will get something in a dream.
Optimism
The Four Noble Truths is all I can eke out….
The Buddha became wise, in the Gospels,Jesus said to take no thought for tomorrow because each day has enough trouble of its own
Thank you, it’s all true, and much more, and blessings to you, also.
Out of nowhere, a doctor showed up who seems able to repair enough of my younger friend’s injuries, so that he can continue on this plane, after my friend had dreamed his soul was leaving and an angel well known to him named Melchizedek showed up and teased him and said he wasn’t getting off that easy, and then the doctor had a dream that convinced him he must do all he can to help my friend, and the doctor told the hospital what had happened, and they reduced the cost$ 90 %,, and the procedures are scheduled very soon. Meanwhile, my long time ailing gut has felt some better since I posted what you replied to, and no doctor of this world has anything to do with that :-)
Wow
I am tired too, being on the other side of ocean.
Existential fatigue keep us together, but there is something deeper that welcomes us alive, attentive and closer: Poetry...
It bathes the feet, massages the heart and has an effective action in combating waste from our arteries.
Namaste from Brazil. Thank you so much, as always.🙏
Wonderful insights.
"the need for the new love is faithfulness to the old." I love this!
Thank you again for posting a well-chosen poem. Very pertinent in our "seize the day" culture. The day doesn't want to be seized, but enjoyed.
..all rings true, but remembering that time waits for no-one, is worth keeping in mind I think....
Just discovered this substack, really loving it. Thank you!
“But trust the hours. Haven't they
carried you everywhere, up to now?”
I will hold on to this today.
Powerful poem. I’ve tried to convince myself for years that “Impatience” can be a virtue. Mainly because I’m impatient. But patience teaches you more in the long run.
How I love the work of Galway Kinnell, one of my very favorite poets. This study in impermanence is penned so (apparently) simply, and comes out so deeply profound.
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/galway-kinnell
Bowing in gratitude to Poetic Outlaws.
Absolutely Wow. Yes. I admired this poem for an hour and then read it out loud. Again Absolutely Wow. I’ve rarely come upon a time, a place, a thing that is worthy of the descriptor ‘sublime’. This arrangement of words has been waiting to be discovered by this old girl. Discovery at its joyful best.
Thanks to All.
It is very moving, resounding with the soul and mind. The waiting, the knowing that all things are felt and will pass. Well, the words have a beauty all their own!
Beautiful and very timely reminders… thank you.
Beautiful.